This page contains random rantings about protecting yourself on the internet including:
WORKAROUNDS for TOS, AUP, LART, UDP, and DTMYYP
How to flame, insult, antagonize and make your victims look totally foolish.
How to protect yourself from libel, slander and defamation of character lawsuits.
When totally defeated in a flame war, the best ways to prove you won the war.
This document is a well researched piece of work.; It is knowledge accumulated over a three year period of slinging bullshit at various people, places, and things.. Although it is not indexed, separated into different topics nor has any effort been made to prove that the material provided actually works, let me assure you, it does.
First of all when you pick your target, make sure he or she knows what the hell they are talking about No sense in trashing somebody who is so stupid that they tend to post erroneous conclusions about anything. One reason for this is they will probably just admit they were wrong and that's the end of the game.
Always pick on somebody who just has a slight misconception of the facts. Always attack with crude, rude, insulting remarks, preferably with a little profanity thrown in.
Always, I mean always, use your correct or at least a valid reply e-mail address. That way the victim will more than likely send you an irate, insulting e-mail which you can use to netKopp them with. You can say any damn thing you want in the newsgroup and when they report you to abuse@your.isp you can offer the e-mail as a rebuttal and prove that you are the victim. Especially if you have used profanity or sexual slurs, the complainant will use that in the e-mail and be a good reason to get their account closed.
Before starting a really long drawn out battle, make yourself judgment proof. Simply stating that you have no assets, no income and don't have any expectation of getting any, will keep all the lawyers away from your doorstep. Who in the hell wants to sue a broke person?
When your victim makes the first complaining reply in the newsgroup, be nice about it. Say something like " You ignorant son of a bitch", if you can prove I am wrong here are the addresses you can complain to.
Give him a list of about fifteen abuse@some.com addys and he will probably complain to all of them. This will get him started on the abuse hotlines shitlist immediately. Two or three days of these continuous complaints and they will totally ignore him. Some will even help to have his ISPs cancelled.
Always let them make the first threat. If you decide to make a covert threat to do harm to them, be very careful. I would suggest that you not use a veiled invitation to a fishing trip, and mention bringing chains, cement block and alligators. These things can be misconstrued to be actual threats and the idiot may just actually convince some of your own enemies on the internet to take his side in the argument.
If you are from Arkansas or Hawaii, invite them to bring their fifteen year old daughter over for a vacation. Age of consent in Arkansas is nine and in Hawaii it is fourteen.
If they live in rural southern states, always mention the bestiality thing. They will become unusually upset cause all of them are guilty of having sex with a pet at one time or another and will overlook the fact that bestiality does not necessarily have anything to do with that.
Always make a post referring to an original post from them that does not exist. Say they accused you of having sex with pigs, chickens, dogs, sheep etc. Make an irate reply saying "Chickens"? They will reply that they said no such thing. Tell em to prove it! They cannot prove they didn't say it so you have already got them groveling.
As a safety net, which is a necessary thing to have, always make a complimentary post about one of their articles once in awhile. Save these posts with the complete headers intact for later use. This is important. When they start calling you really bad names and accuse you of offending and harming and injuring them and theirs, you can repost these articles and deny ever saying anything bad about them. You can in fact claim to be their defender simply by referring to earlier complimentary posts. What really screws em up is to post one several years old defending them from whatever it is they are accusing everyone else from doing to them.
These suggestions could go on forever but I will mention only two more important items. Always print out four or five of their worst posts. In this case the ones where the whole group has been called horrible names and advice to watch your back is mentioned. Send these to the local Chief of Police in his town. Just mention to the Chief that you thought he might like to know that there is an Internet Terrorist in his town.
Last but not least, deny every saying anything at all. Denial, denial, denial. Denial is the best defense in the world. Claim that everything you have ever posted was in jest and just good clean fun entertainment.
Even if they post all the headers and all that stuff. Deny it. Ask them how they forged all that shit and accuse them of making forgeries using your name. They cant prove they didn't do that either. If they can, it don't really matter because it will be obvious to everybody who has been agreeing with you for three years that SOMEBODY forged the suckers and it most likely was him. In your last post always give them your phone number and ask them to call you and discuss the problem. Change your answering machine message to "lemmee put you on hold for just a second, I have another caller I need to get rid of". That way he gets charged for a phone call every time he tries.
Stormy